Narcissism and Abusive Relationships

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How Narcissistic Mothers Damage Their Sons

Darlene Lancer
Narcissism and Abusive Relationships
7 min readFeb 6, 2020
Photo by Victoria Borodinova

All children of narcissists suffer. Sons of narcissistic mothers suffer damage to their autonomy, self-worth, and future relationships with women.

Narcissists lack empathy and ability to nurture their children. They don’t see them as individuals, but only as extensions of themselves. Their children’s feelings and needs are neglected and criticized, while their own take precedence. Narcissists feel entitled and insist on getting their way. They exact compliance through control, manipulation, guilt, and shame. “It’s their way or the highway,” and if you don’t oblige, they punish you with attacks, coldness, or withholding. Their insecurity drives their insatiable, unrealistic needs for high regard and admiration. They take offense easily, triggering contempt and rage. Because they lack boundaries, they project and shame and blame others for their own emotional discomfort, which they can’t tolerate.

Dynamics between Sons and Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissism varies in degree and kind and with each individual’s personality and values. There are narcissistic mothers who are disinterested in their children; others who are over-involved. Some act aggressive, while others act caring or seductive. The following are some common patterns, though your experience may differ.

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Narcissism and Abusive Relationships
Narcissism and Abusive Relationships

Published in Narcissism and Abusive Relationships

Learn about narcissists, NPD, and abusive relationships and what you can do

Darlene Lancer
Darlene Lancer

Written by Darlene Lancer

Therapist-Author of “Codependency for Dummies,” relationship expert. Get a FREE 14 Tips on Letting Go http://bit.ly/MN2jSG. Join me on FB http://on.fb.me/WnMQMH

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