Not all victims are manipulative. Feeling like a victim has taken on negative connotations, but there are people who ”play the victim” in order to manipulate you. This is a favorite defense of narcissists and other personality-disordered people. In some other instances, this behavior is learned as a child because…

Do you make New Year’s resolutions and then feel disappointed or guilty for breaking them? Enthusiastically resolve to change, but within days or weeks lose interest and can’t motivate yourself? Wonder why you get sidetracked by distractions or become easily discouraged when quick results aren’t forthcoming? For years, every January…

December 22 marks the beginning of rebirth — following the year’s shortest day. The winter solstice since ancient times represented symbolically the death and rebirth of the Sun, marked by a festive holiday on December 25th, Saturnalia, honoring the pagan sun god. This day came to be Christmas marking the…

Empaths are more than empathetic. Like an HSP–highly sensitive person–they’re highly attuned to stimuli and other people’s emotions and energy, often at a transpersonal or paranormal level. They may be codependent and end up in abusive relationships. Let’s first consider some definitions. An HSP has a rich inner life and…

Anxiety is common at the beginning of a relationship, but relationship anxiety can continue for the long term. It refers to intense worry, fear, doubt, and insecurity about a relationship and is associated with interpersonal dependency and interpersonal avoidance. Insecurity about ourselves, our boundaries, and our self-esteem can cause relationship…

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person. Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional families are enmeshed and your individuality and boundaries are ignored or…

A breakup with a narcissist might not end the relationship. Many narcissists are in long-term relationships and don’t want it to end. They’re codependent and become dependent on their partner. They may try to lure you back with “hoovering.” Even ending a shorter relationship that they didn’t initiate will be…

When we first met, I told my husband I was very adaptable. I didn’t realize the price of being a chameleon until I started recovery and my journey of individuation. By then I was dead inside. I’d spent years adapting to abuse and belittling that I’d absorbed. …